Real Life Eating Disorders

The end of the year holidays can be a joyous yet stressful time. While many embrace the holiday season as a festive time to eat, drink and celebrate with friends and family, those with eating disorders such as binge eating disorder, bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa see it as a nightmare. Individuals with eating disorders usually begin to worry about food consumption at holiday gatherings weeks, sometimes even months before the event. For those who know someone struggling with an eating disorder, there are many helpful ways to support them through the holiday season.

• Don’t make casual comments about your loved one’s physical body related to weight or size.  If you haven’t seen your loved one in some time, it is easy to fall into the trap of commenting on weight gain or weight loss. This can be done in the right setting at the right time; however, the wrong setting or wrong time can feel threatening and triggering to someone struggling with an eating disorder.
• Let them know you would like to talk about your concerns in private. Create a safe space for the conversation and lead with your love and concern. When you have created a safe space, share your concern directly. 
• Don’t casually comment on, critique, or nag about their eating or food choices.  Statements like “Just eat some turkey” or “Why don’t you skip the dessert?” are not helpful. Comments that oversimplify or minimize the depth of the individual’s experience leave them feeling invalidated and unseen. 
• Focus on support and coping. Use statements like, “I am here for you when you are ready.” “I noticed you struggling. How can I support you?” 
• If you fear your loved one is purging or using laxatives, don’t respond in a way that can be perceived as attacking or judging. This is not helpful for either parties. 
• Don’t lecture and try to approach the situation as if you know what they are experiencing and you know how to fix it. Eating disorders are not as simple as fixing the food piece or fixing the weight. They stem from a deep psychological discord that needs to be addressed by a multidisciplinary team of professionals.  
• Lastly, have some resources prepared like the contact for a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS) and Certified Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian (CEDRD) as well as free support groups.

What’s great about these tips is that they can be applied to almost any situation. Work, for example, can be stressful for those with eating disorders. It’s difficult to pack lunch everyday, and sometimes they have to eat out for business meetings over lunch. They may feel pressured to order something and finish it. Another situation could be that they don’t have time to eat a proper meal so they have to grab something fast yet unhealthy. This can result in feelings of guilt and subsequent purging. Working in a fast paced environment can make it difficult to maintain a healthy lunch routine. It’s important to remember that eating out in moderation can be beneficial and that no one should feel pressured to eat anything they don’t want to. Be firm in your beliefs. 

Have a blessed Thanksgiving! 

Reference
Delgado, D. (2018). Eating disorders and the holiday season. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/eating-disorders/201811/eating-disorders-and-the-holiday-season