Self-sabotage refers to behavior or thoughts that create problems in daily life and interfere with goals. People aren't always aware that they are sabotaging themselves. The roots of self-sabotage often lie in low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and related negative emotions. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, substance abuse, comfort eating, and self-injury such as cutting.
Self-sabotaging has a strong association with borderline personality disorder. In one study, researchers found that there was a positive correlation between these two factors among a sample of 76 participants. This seems logical due to the fact that the fundamental dynamic of borderline personality disorder is the elicitation of caring responses from others through overt self-destructive behaviors. This suggests that medical self-sabotage is primarily a behavioral characteristic of those suffering from borderline personality disorder.
One of the core behaviors of self-sabotaging is putting oneself down. Self-effacing behavior can emerge when people have trouble believing in their own abilities. They may ask “Why do I keep doing this?” and “Why does this keep happening to me?” when they feel trapped in patterns that create problems. Although they try to make changes and disrupt these patterns, somehow they end up in the same place, again and again. It’s important that we stay aware of harmful thought patterns and what causes them.
Other ways in which we can stop sabotaging our success is by identifying what triggers these behaviors and creating an action plan. For procrastination, it can be helpful to start a task without thinking about the entire project or timeline. Anticipating future behaviors, planning how to respond, and eliminating distractions until a designated time can also be valuable. At work, if negativity is an issue, plan to make one positive comment each day. Embrace improvements rather than elimination to make incremental progress toward your goal. Additionally, a good way to avoid sabotaging relationships is by understanding your childhood relationship patterns and identifying current triggers for self-sabotaging behaviors by journaling. You should always communicate your habits and progress to your partner and cultivate self-compassion.
Sansonse, R. A., McLean J. S., & Wiederman, M. W. (2008). The relationship between medically self-sabotaging behaviors and borderline personality disorder among psychiatric inpatients, 10(6), 448-452, doi: 10.4088/pcc.v10n0604
De-escalation is a communication technique designed to reduce conflict, anger and the potential for future aggression or violence. Emotionally charged situations can escalate quickly, so it’s important for employees to stay well-informed on how to prevent this from happening. This article will go over the different conflict styles as well as methods on de-escalating conflict effectively.
Everyone handles conflict differently. Some try to avoid it while others prefer to face it head on. Personally, I tend to try to sweep things under the rug rather than resolving the conflict directly. I feel that this directly links to my personality type and my upbringing. Many may not be aware of how they may handle conflict in the future, so it’s important to be aware of your conflict style. There are five styles:
Now with this list, you should be able to identify which type of conflict style you identify with. Ideally, we would all want to have a collaborative conflict style at all times. However, with every conflict, emotions run high and it’s not always easy to keep a level head. Also, collaboration during a conflict is most successful with an objective facilitator who can guide the conversation. When dealing with conflict, there are many tips that we can follow to help de-escalate the conflict when there is no facilitator. The main thing is to take a step back and to take a deep breath. This can help when we are feeling defensive and emotional, and can help each person avoid making angry comments that they may regret later on. Another great thing to consider is to try being empathetic. By being able to understand how the person is feeling, we can admit our wrongdoings and move forward. It can also be helpful for both parties to concentrate less on the past and more on the future. Rather than focusing on how the conflict started, there should be discussion on how the future can improve if the conflict gets resolved.
Here are some resources on how to de-escalate workplace conflicts.
Sternberg, R. J., & Soriano, L. J. (2004). Styles of conflict resolution. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 47(1), 115–126. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3522.214.171.124
Motivation is what drives employees to work hard and be excited about their job. By having high motivation, they can work to their full potential and receive the most returns for their efforts. Setting and achieving goals, clear expectations, recognition, feedback, as well as encouraging management all contribute to an increase in workplace motivation. In today’s climate, it’s important for employees to know how to stay motivated after the new transition to working remotely.
During this time, a lot of organizations have had to make some sort of transition to an online work platform. With it, employee engagement and motivation has been seen to decrease. This can be attributed to work life balance being disrupted so that employees aren’t able to organize their time. There also may be many more distractions that can interrupt their working process. To avoid this issue, remote employees should create a clear schedule with an organized list of tasks and expectations for each week. This can help you organize your priorities so that time is efficiently managed.
Another issue of remote work is lack of communication. Collaboration is a crucial ingredient of a successful team, but you can’t communicate effectively with employees who aren’t connected. It’s important to establish regular check-in calls to help your remote workforce feel included and heard. And this is easy to do because we can now leverage amazing technology. There are so many platforms and apps that allow us to stay connected easily such as Zoom, Slack, Google Hangouts, and more. Technology today has made it extremely easy for remote employees to have more autonomy.
Although remote work can have many issues, there are many upsides to having this new type of flexibility. There can be less limitations in who organizations hire because they no longer have to find local employees. There can be more diversity in the workforce because employees can have more flexibility working virtually. They can work from different states and still do great work. It’s all a matter of organizing your time and having open communication with your coworkers.
Below are some resources on how to stay motivated working from home.