De-escalating Workplace Conflict

​De-escalation is a communication technique designed to reduce conflict, anger and the potential for future aggression or violence. Emotionally charged situations can escalate quickly, so it’s important for employees to stay well-informed on how to prevent this from happening. This article will go over the different conflict styles as well as methods on de-escalating conflict effectively. 

Everyone handles conflict differently. Some try to avoid it while others prefer to face it head on. Personally, I tend to try to sweep things under the rug rather than resolving the conflict directly. I feel that this directly links to my personality type and my upbringing. Many may not be aware of how they may handle conflict in the future, so it’s important to be aware of your conflict style. There are five styles:

1. Directing style of conflict is one-sided when one person involved in the disagreement dictates to the other without any chance for counterpoints or argument. This style happens most often between parent and child and boss and employee. 
   
2. Avoiding style is when one person aims to avoid the conflict altogether. This style doesn’t perpetuate more problems, but it doesn’t solve problems either. In the avoidance conflict style, the problem is never talked about or dealt with directly, causing the problem to remain and resurface later. 
3. Accommodating style is another unhealthy type of conflict in which a person cannot express how they truly feel. Their main goal is to keep the other person happy while superficially resolving the conflict. 
4. Compromising style of conflict is when each party offers something to give up so that the conflict can be resolved. This can be effective at times, however, it’s important to note that with this style, while the conflict may be resolved, both parties are generally unhappy with the results. 
5. Collaborative style is the ideal style that can keep both parties happy while completely resolving the conflict. Psychologists recommend this style because the goal is to consider the needs, wants and feelings of each side of the argument. Both parties state what they want and need to resolve a problem, then each party considers solutions together. 

Now with this list, you should be able to identify which type of conflict style you identify with. Ideally, we would all want to have a collaborative conflict style at all times. However, with every conflict, emotions run high and it’s not always easy to keep a level head. Also, collaboration during a conflict is most successful with an objective facilitator who can guide the conversation. When dealing with conflict, there are many tips that we can follow to help de-escalate the conflict when there is no facilitator. The main thing is to take a step back and to take a deep breath. This can help when we are feeling defensive and emotional, and can help each person avoid making angry comments that they may regret later on. Another great thing to consider is to try being empathetic. By being able to understand how the person is feeling, we can admit our wrongdoings and move forward. It can also be helpful for both parties to concentrate less on the past and more on the future. Rather than focusing on how the conflict started, there should be discussion on how the future can improve if the conflict gets resolved. 

Here are some resources on how to de-escalate workplace conflicts.

• Tips for De-escalating Conflict
• Workplace Violence and De-escalation
• 5 Tips for De-escalating Workplace Conflict

Reference
Sternberg, R. J., & Soriano, L. J. (2004). Styles of conflict resolution. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 47(1), 115–126. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.47.1.115