How to Be a Good Mental Health Ally

Despite living in a time where the importance of mental health is understood more than ever, there are still significant barriers to receiving care.

It has been found that 95.6% of Americans have at least one barrier preventing them from getting professional care (Coombs et al., 2021). However, despite the reality that not everyone has access to formal support, they can still receive help from their friends and family. Humans are social beings and need community, so the value of social bonds cannot be understated when it comes to mental health (Holt‐Lunstad, 2024; Thatcher, 2024).
Allies are an important part of mental health. “Put simply, being an ally means to be associated with another person through a bond or connection. An ally is someone who has taken on the commitment to educate themselves on the struggles of another, challenges their personal biases or judgements, takes action to generate change, and practices compassion and understanding” (Talaric, 2021). There are several ways to be a strong ally to those in your life struggling with their mental health.

Listening
One of the primary ways to be an ally to those struggling with mental health issues is through simply listening to them, and talking to them. Listening to what they say helps you to know what they deal with and how they handle it (Inspira Health, 2021). You cannot assume that you know how someone is doing without talking to them and hearing from their own mouth how they are (Talarico, 2021). It is also important to avoid getting distracted while listening (Cardenas, 2026), so that you do not inadvertently make them feel as if you only asked after them to be polite rather than out of genuine concern.

Talking
Directly talking to those who struggle with their mental health is another important way to be an ally. Being able to have an open conversation about mental health is beneficial (Wojcik, 2023), and it can help reduce the stigma that surrounds mental health even today. Talking openly to someone, and letting them know that you’re concerned, is a positive thing (Johns, 2023).

One way to start the conversation is by beginning with “I” statements, which phrase things according to how you feel and what you have noticed, rather than statements that might come across more accusingly if you start it off by saying what you have noticed about their behavior (Massachusetts Department of Mental Health, n.d.). If you reach out with love and concern, you tell them that someone cares for them. Compassion and honesty are important, but it is equally as important to avoid pushing them and forcing them to address things they might not be ready to talk about. You also have to avoid judging them for their problems and symptoms when they open up (Cardenas, 2026; Johns, 2023). Their perspective is just as valid as your own, and merely being able to open up about what they are going through can make them feel less alone, as well as less afraid. (Johns, 2023).

Directly Asking How to Provide Support
When talking to them about their mental health, it might be tempting to jump into trying to fix their problems for them. However, you need to avoid doing that without asking them if that is what they want (Johns, 2023). They might just want someone to listen to them, and even if they do want your help, it is important you wait until you know exactly what they want help with. Trying to help fix a problem without understanding the full scope of it can often worsen it. Asking how you can help them is a good way to start (Jefferson Center, n.d.), because it puts things in their control and allows them to determine what they think will most benefit them.

Education
Another way to be a good mental health ally is to educate yourself about mental illness (Jefferson Center, n.d.; Mental Health First Aid, 2024). Part of why there is still a stigma surrounding mental health is that people don’t understand it (Jefferson Center, n.d.), and educating yourself will help you address your own internal biases. Learning more about it helps those affected by ensuring that people understand more about what they live with. Educating yourself will also help you to give better support (Mental Health First Aid, 2024).

Understanding Symptoms
A key component of education and being a mental health ally is understanding the symptoms of a mental health-related issue. Of course, mental illnesses do not all have the same symptoms, even though they may overlap at times. You might not be able to know all the symptoms of every mental illness, but you can still learn some commonly occurring symptoms—the American Psychiatric Association (APA) has a list that is linked in the references (Lennon, 2025)—as well as learning more about the particular mental illness of someone you know.
Even without knowing the symptoms of specific illnesses, it is important to be observant of those you know. If you notice a sudden change in how they act, maybe they were always talkative and are now conspicuously silent, it might be a good idea to broach the topic and ask about their wellbeing (Ponte, 2023). Recognizing that someone is acting oddly is an important part of checking after them, as it both confirms to them that someone cares for them and recognizes that their behavior is atypical for them. A sudden personality shift is often a cause for concern (Pearson, 2026).

Recommending Professional Support
Sometimes, social support alone is not enough, and professional support is needed (Cardenas, 2026). Still, that does not mean that you cannot help, and encouraging them to seek help can be beneficial (Inspira Health, 2021). If recommending therapy, the options are not limited solely to in-person. There are virtual options such as Brightside Health or Talkspace, both of which are linked in the references. Psychology Today is also another resource. It is a website that includes a directory of therapists and allows you to filter professionals based on what you are looking for (i.e., in-person v. telehealth, EMDR v. DBT v. CBT, etc.). Of course, there is also medication available for certain mental health issues, and some are most effectively treated with medication or a combination of medication and therapy, which cannot be offered by just social support.
As a mental health ally, you can research effective treatments for a certain disorder and suggest it to your friend if you think they need more help than you are capable of offering.

Taking Care of Your Own Mental Health
It is equally as important to look after your own mental health while offering support. Helping yourself can help you learn to help others (Inspira Health, 2021). It can be draining to take care of someone with a mental illness (Cardenas, 2026), so set time aside for yourself and try to monitor your own wellbeing. Setting boundaries is an important part of that (Cardenas, 2026; Massachusetts Department of Mental Health, n.d.), as it helps you to recognize your own limits and to know when helping someone will prove harmful to you.

Looking after your own mental health also helps to normalize discussion of it, and can help motivate others to take care of themselves (Jefferson Center, n.d.). Every aspect of being a mental health ally is related, and doing one aspect helps with the others. For instance, educating yourself can help you learn more about your own mental health and how to take care of yourself, which in turn can help you to know more ways to help others and help you share additional resources.

References
Brightside Health. (n.d.) https://www.brightside.com/
Cardenas, J. (2026, January 9). 5 ways to be an effective mental health ally. Western University. https://uwo.ca/se/thrive/blog/2022/5_ways_to_be_an_effective_mental_health_ally.html
Coombs, N.C., Meriwether,  W.E., James Caringi, J., & Newcomer. S.R. (2021). Barriers to healthcare access among U.S. adults with mental health challenges: A population-based study. SSM - Population Health, 15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmph.2021.100847
Holt‐Lunstad, J. (2024). Social connection as a critical factor for mental and physical health: Evidence, trends, challenges, and future implications. World Psychiatry, 23(3), 312-332. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.21224
Inspira Health. (2021, October 28). 4 tips for being a mental health ally. https://www.inspirahealthnetwork.org/news/healthy-living/4-tips-being-mental-health-ally
Jefferson Center. (n.d.). 7 ways to be a mental health ally. Retrieved June 18, 2026, from https://www.jcmh.org/7-ways-to-be-a-mental-health-ally/
Johns, C. (2023, May 23). How to talk to someone struggling with mental health issues. Fidelis Care. https://www.fideliscare.org/Blog?id=682
Lennon, C.J. (2025). Warning signs of mental illness. American Psychiatric Association. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness
Massachusetts Department of Mental Health. (n.d.). How do I talk to a friend or family about mental health? Mass.gov. https://www.mass.gov/info-details/how-do-i-talk-to-a-friend-or-family-member-about-mental-health
Mental Health First Aid. (2024, October 14). 10 ways to help someone who is struggling with their mental health. https://mentalhealthfirstaid.org/news/10-ways-help-someone-struggling-with-mental-health/
Pearson, B. (2026, April 9). What can cause sudden personality changes in adults? Chateau Health & Wellness. Retrieved June 19, 2026, from https://www.chateaurecovery.com/what-can-cause-sudden-personality-changes-in-adults
Ponte, K. (2023, May 4). Educators, here’s how to be a mental health ally. Harvard Business Impact. https://hbsp.harvard.edu/inspiring-minds/educators-heres-how-to-be-a-mental-health-ally
Psychology Today. (n.d.) Find an online therapist near you. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists?category=online-counseling
Talarico, A. (2021, September 17). How to be a good ally for someone in recovery. Recovery Centers of America. https://recoverycentersofamerica.com/blogs/how-to-be-a-good-ally-for-someone-in-recovery/
Talkspace. (n.d.). https://www.talkspace.com/
Thatcher, K. (2024, December 2). The power of connection: Why social bonds matter for mental health. Brigham Young University. https://comprehensiveclinic.byu.edu/the-power-of-connection-why-social-bonds-matter-for-mental-health
Wojcik, S. (2023, June 3). How to be a mental health ally in the workplace. HR for Health. https://hrforhealth.com/blog/how-to-be-a-mental-health-ally-in-the-workplace